I didn’t realize, and wasn’t aware that as someone who was given a special needs child that it was going to change me, my perspective, and outlook on life. I was a young mom of two boys when I was given my special baby. I learned within the first week that I was going to be going against the grain of many opinions. I learned quickly that the world had placed many boundaries on my child and because I was her mother, on me as well. With the bad also come the good. I watched people advocate for me and my daughter and work quickly to get a support group in place for me and my family.

My friend who had watched the boys while I was in the hospital was a part of the congregation of my church. She made sure meals were brought in. Ladies were there to help clean and watch the kids. As I recovered and worked with Annie. I later found out that they were instructed to sit and listen to me while I talked and expressed my fears, cried, and started to work through all the emotions of having the responsibility to raise a special needs child. They were also told not to compare their children to mine. They were to find joy in each child and their accomplishments. Those times were vital to me. I was able to talk with ladies who were not in the same situation as I was but was there as a shoulder to cry on and support as I started to navigate this new world. They were there when I would be hit with the next step of Annie’s progress and growth. We found joy in our children’s progress, on time or delayed. This was a major help in the process of starting this new path. They honestly cared and wanted to help and as I look back it was a life saving step in my progress.

On the other hand I had others who thought they new what was best for the child and that I didn’t. There were people who believed that I was inadequate for this task. My mother called and came to “help” with the baby. I found it a little odd because she hadn’t come to help with my two boys. I agreed to have her come and was relieved and excited that my mom wanted to help me out. I was unaware that she had different intentions. When she arrived she made it clear that she believed I couldn’t take care of this child and that she should and could raise my child for me. I was devastated. My husbands family wanted me to institutionalize my daughter and my own mother, the one who should be my support and the one who should take my hand and tell me I can do this was telling me the opposite.

I was not a person who typically was loud or confrontational. If I felt like I wasn’t wanted in a situation I withdrew. But the second she let her intentions known I knew that I no longer could be the silent one. I let her know that she in no way would be raising my child. That she was my baby and no matter her shortcomings and mine by hell or high water we would make it. As I stood up for Annie and myself I realized that I was going to have to consistently stand up for her. I would have to observe and learn what she needed and push for her to get it. When people didn’t believe in her or me I had to push that aside and do what was required. I was now a mother of someone who had downs syndrome. A mother of a child who needed a voice, and I would be hers.