Handicap – Persevere

Excited, YES! My friends all said it looks like I am carrying a girl. With two little boys ages 2 & 4, having a girl would be the cherry on top! I dreamed of her dancing just like her mama, and maybe running track as well. I would have my perfect princess and as my due date approached my excitement to welcome my new little on was mounting.

My labor had a false start. The contractions would start and then stop. More waiting continued, then at 6 a.m. my contractions started but they were hard and they really hurt. This was completely different then both of my boys. I called my sitter and got everything arranged so I could go in as my labor progressed. I wanted to time it just right and labor at home as long as possible. As time passed I got a gut feeling that I needed to see my doctor. I needed his medical comfort and reassurance. I called him and he told me to come right in.

I got to his office, he confirmed I was in labor and the nurse loaded me onto a wheelchair and rushed me across the parking lot to the hospital. It was go time! The time had come for me to meet my little human.

My labor was hard, harder then my boys. There was the typical buzz in the labor and delivery room. My doctor signals me to push and out comes the baby, it is a girl, my friends were right! The excitement of the delivery room quickly changed. My rosy pink baby turned grey, I only saw a glimpse of her before she was taken out of the room. I saw her cute little ears which had a point and her cute tongue that stuck out, that was all. My doctor on the other hand saw far more.

As they took her out of the room, I prayed everything would be okay. I anxiously waited to hear some news about my little princess. I waited, and waited, and waited. I heard no news from 1 p.m. until 7 p.m. when my children’s pediatrician stepped in to talk to me.

“Your baby, we think has Down Syndrome.” The doctor said. She continued, ” Now we have to test for a hole in the heart, obstructed bowls, congenital hips…..” as she continued to speak to me my mind started to recall what I had been learning in my child psychology class. I knew medically it was bad. As she spoke with me she was looking for my reaction. Was I going to reject the baby? Would I not accept the news? Would I be angry? The reason that they waited so long to speak to me was very clear now.

Before the baby was born I had set up the ability to feed my baby through out the night and I looked at my doctor and said, “Do you remember the order I had to feed my baby through the night, I still want that carried out.”

She replied, “Do you understand that your baby is retarded?”

“Yes,” I replied firmly, “But she still has to eat.”

As soon as I said those words the doctor visible relaxed and immediately took us to see our little girl and explain the symptoms of this big unknown, with the name of Down Syndrome.

-Gail

A birth, an accident, old age, cancer, a heart condition, a stroke….the list is endless. In a matter of seconds we can all have a life altering event. Just when we think we have life figured out it throws a curve ball and we are now trying to figure out the new world we have been thrown into. When my life has met these challenges I have approached the problem in one of two ways:

#1 – I attack it head on and I am proactive at finding a solution.

#2 – I dig in my heels, hide in my bed, and resist the inevitable. I will get to it in the morning!

My first child was diagnosed with ADHD Extreme. My training started with him. I had to start figuring out the “Problem” (what made him react a certain way, how to change his environment to improve his behavior, where was the limit and line I couldn’t let him cross) I had to study his behavior, create a plan, and carry out that plan.

Many times the plan didn’t work and I had to change the plan through trail and fail, reevaluate and attack it again. My son’s behavior started my training. The mom training for the curve ball, life was about to throw my way.

My son taught me to PERSEVERE.

I have learned to hold my ground.

I have had to figure out and research how to help my child to the best of my ability.

I have learned to implement the plan and if the plan fails to let the plan go and start again.

I have learned to be an advocate in my children’s care and fight for what was best for them, even when the idea wasn’t the typical answer.

And then I learned to pick up my feet and DO IT.

I know how it feels to have life change in a matter of seconds. It started with my son but it didn’t end with him. A few years after I had my first child and as I was learning to work with his behavior I prepared to welcome my third child. Little did I know that my life was about to be completely changed and I would enter a world I know very little about….

Being a parent of a special needs child.

Gail

Tag: Handicap

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Life Changes in Seconds